Do you ever think about the fact that these txt'ng young people will be the ones running your senior centers, funding your Social Security, and controlling the media in your old age? How does that make you feel?
Do you think names will be spelled fu-net-ickly on pension checks? Breakups, firings, layoffs, death notices, and denial of benefits will be notified via text message. Suspenders will come back in style as today's youth refuse to pull their pants up but discover the hazards of trying to actually accomplish something with baggy pants halfway down their thighs. Roadway lanes will officially be recognized as mere "suggestions" and showing up to work on a "schedule" will be voluntary - even for judges, police officers, ER docs, etc. Oh, yeah - there won't be any primary care docs. The existing med school system won't let go of the brutal academic and residency requirements, so only materialistic young folk will suffer through it - and they ain't doing it for a piddling quarter mil a year.
The Star Spangled Banner will be re-recorded as a rap song, and our grandchildren's generation will rebel against their parents boring rap music - by embracing country music. Teenaged rebellion will end, because teens simply cannot shock their parents anymore with anything short of 1) fiscally and socially responsible behavior and/or 2) killing things. Google's face-recognition technology will be perfected, and Google will make a trillion bucks by searching out your doppelganger and hiring him/her to go out and make friends for you, without you having to suffer the inconvenience of pretending to care about "friends'" stupid lives and boring interests.
Americans will stage a bloodless coup in the entertainment industry, wresting control back from the Canadians. We will discover that 47% of illegal "Mexican" immigrants are actually illegal Canadian immigrants with their first-ever tan.
Naw. I think that the primacy of connection will fade and today's youth will discover the joy of workaholism to avoid dealing with non-work life. But I do think their kids will struggle to rebel musically, and I fear that they will decide to rebel by playing Country and Western music at a polite volume, wearing belts that hold their pants at their waist, and either taking piercing to the next level (pierced ribs, perhaps?) or eschewing piercing altogether. And all of today's citizens complaining about illegals taking American jobs, will find themselves complaining that they can't find home healthcare aids to change their Depends. Yes folks, even today's troubled youth can grow into tomorrow's entitled retirement class, but, first, they've got to kill us off to collect their inheritances. Nighty-night, sleep tight.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment